Still hopeful (?) for a Nov 30 start of chemo treatments

I saw my doctor again yesterday to check on this "sturdy" infection. He sees progress and is still hopeful that I will be able to keep my date with chemo right after Thanksgiving. We'll see -- this infection seems pretty tenacious. The doctor said it was the worst he had ever seen and that "this never happens." Lucky me, I'm special!

It's an odd mix of emotions that accompanied this chemo start date. A part of me, the scared little girl, sort of wanted to put off the chemo treatments -- forever! But I am rational and know that avoiding "taking your medicine" is almost always the wrong choice in the long run. That lesson just continually makes itself known in my life. It's one of the things I'm trying to teach my kids. It seems like the most natural and immediate response to bad things is to duck and cover. I often have to experience that emotion, and then I can go on to do the right thing.

Someday I hope to become a "real" adult, and not be taken over by childish emotions and thoughts. Then again, I'll probably be dead by the time that happens, so no point trying to hasten it!