The New Wig!

Yes, indeed, I did find a wig and here are some pictures.

I think it reminds me of Martha Stewart. Or Dorothy Hamill 30 years later. It looks as if I have dark hair (which matches my eyebrows) but have lightened the top of it -- perhaps it was going gray on top?? So the roots are darker and the hair along the nape is dark.

I tried on several curly wigs, since my hair is curly, but they all looked "frowzy" and old-fashioned. So, this one is a fairly straight style on top, but it has some curl to it on the sides and the back.

Here's a second picture. (Only look at the wig, there's a very strange look/expression on my face.) You can see the darker underlay better in this one, also hopefully see that the back near the nape is very dark. It's very hip -- doesn't try to look natural at all, just light on top and dark on the bottom.

I love this wig! I think I'm never going to bother to grow my hair out -- I'll just always wear this wig! In the morning I just give it a shake and pull it on. Easier even than my no-fuss hairstyles. Well, I suppose summer swimming with a wig is not recommended. And it will probably be hot once the weather warms up. Anyway, it will do fabulously well for the next couple months.

And, no, I don't wear it all the time. It is a bit tight -- which is a good thing, one doesn't want it falling off or getting askew -- but it gives me a headache after several hours. So, I wear it when I'm going out somewhere other than my radiation appts.

Radiation is still going fine. No soreness. I am taking naps more, but then I always seem to take naps if I don't have work to do in the afternoon. Census work has stopped again for a while but will pick up again in April, we think.

New hair

My hair is just barely beginning to grow in -- about a quarter inch long, except for a few hairs that didn't ever fall out and that are now about an inch long. It looks very strange. All the hair is gray/white -- no dark roots coming up at all. I did still have some dark hair when I started this. Mostly, though, it still looks like scalp with a little fuzz. A peach of a head! :^)

Today I tried to go to the American Cancer Society office after my radiation treatment, because I hear they have a lot of free wigs, but they weren't open that early. Now that it's spring, many of my hats seem odd -- they are decidedly winter hats -- so I'm thinking maybe a wig will be an interesting change. I did get one wig at the Look Good, Feel Better session back in January, but it is platinum blonde and doesn't suit me. The short cut of it looks OK, just too blonde!

My bucket hat still looks cute and spring-y with colorful scarves. And there ARE nice spring hats, but I'm not sure I feel like buying any since I never wore hats before. A free wig sounds like a good spring solution, although they are hot and I may decide by summer that ball caps are perfectly fine. I always abhorred ball caps before, not sure why. Too "masculine" I guess, just like I never liked polo shirts. My personality is already masculine enough (strong, loud, intelligent, pushy) that I guess I compensate by wearing more feminine clothes. Huh, I never thought about that before!

Happy Spring!

"Half No-Time"

That's a quote from Alice in Wonderland, one of my favorite books. I'm referring to the length of the radiation blasts. It is literally 15 seconds in each of 2 positions. Amazing that such a little thing can have any effect at all.

The whole process from start to finish is less than 15 minutes. I am the first appointment of the day at 7:45am, and they are not even ready for me most times. I drive from dropping K&L off at school directly to the Cancer Center, which is only blocks away. I remove my clothes from the waist up, put on a gown and wait for the technicians to be ready. I guess the folks before me have always been late -- the technicians seem surprised when I am ready and waiting at 7:45.

In the radiation room I lie on my back on the plank, with my head and arms in the molded "pillow" we made before. The two technicians take a little time lining me up and then leave the room. I stay for two 15 second blasts from the radiation machine, and then it's over and I'm off to dress.

The machine is very cool; it's shaped like a big sweater shaver. It has a big circular, flat head about 2 feet across, on an arm that comes up from under the bed. The whole thing revolves around me. The first position is about "2 o'clock," about 2 feet from my head. Then it rotates around to about "8 o'clock" under the bed for the second blast.

I don't feel a thing. It isn't scary or even nerve-wracking. There are green lines of light that I guess are used to make sure things are lined up correctly. The head of the machine is a glass plate with the green lines making cross-hairs. I look at that for a while. Then I tend to close my eyes - I don't know why. Makes the time pass more comfortably, I guess.

Last week I had the first 2 sessions of 32 sessions total - 6 & 1/2 weeks of 5 days a week. I don't feel any effects yet. I have been taking naps, but I'm not sure that's related. Tiredness is the most common side effect people have told me.

Yesterday the girls and I went on a geocache hike in honor of the Spring equinox, with some other UU folks. I felt out of shape and my knee is still bothering me, but other than that I felt fine. It was a nice easy hike up to a view of the whole Grand Valley, Grand Mesa, Bookcliffs and the Colorado Monument. Hurray -- winter is over and I am recovering!

Look, Ma! My first tattoos!

My first appointment for radiation was to make sure they could easily "line me up" for the radiation lasers. So, I lie down on CT scan "bed", which is a hard, narrow plank really. They put a molding pillow under my head and I put my arms over my head, also sinking them into the pillow. The pillow is then hardened so it will exactly fit the shape my head and arms, so I can get into the right position more easily.

Next the technicians look through their viewers to make sure my left breast is where they want it to be for the laser. After moving me slightly around and making everything perfect, they put 3 tattoos on me. One in the middle of my breasts and one on each side in my arm pits. Unfortunately, they wouldn't do a flower or even a little star... ;^) Actually, the tattoos look pretty much like some of the freckles/moles on my arms. About the size of a pencil lead and dark. They tattoo them on so that they won't wash off over the next 7 weeks. I also get a lecture about not using anything on the skin of my breast except for the cream they give me. No deodorant or hand lotion.

I will start next Wednesday (3/17 -- luck of the Irish be with me!) with a "simulation" where I do through a dry run to make sure everything lines up and the radiation plan the doctor designs is right. Then the real thing the next day at 7:45am and every weekday thereafter for 6.5 weeks. So I should be done by April 30. I'm glad I got the 7:45 time, because then I can drop the girls off at school, head for radiation, and get on with my day by 8:15 or so. The actual radiation is only 15 minutes, so with undressing and dressing again, maybe a half hour each day.

They also warned me about the possible side effects, which the radiation oncologist has said may be worse for me because my breasts are large. Maybe that means they give me more radiation, but I'm not sure. It sounds like a mild to severe sunburn: redness, itching, possibly peeling, hopefully not really severe skin disintegration, like some people on the web have reported. There will also be tiredness, probably starting after a couple weeks, that increases with more treatments.

I'm planning to be pretty much OK for 4 weeks, then I'll only have 2.5 weeks to go. Doesn't sound too bad. Of course, as you all know, I'm an optimist. But also strong and with big energy reserves. And I always have the last resort: I know that eventually I will be done with all this and all I really have to do is wait and it will be over.